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Sunday, July 31, 2005

fake plastic hartebeest..... 

i feel i have to blog about probably the worst big bro contestant ever, orlaith, or as she is known to me oral.
oral seems to be every mans dream, she has the perfect body and a reasonable boat. she even has a 'sexy' accent, as someone has mentioned. however irl, she would probably be the worlds worst girlfriend. the constant application of make-up and crying puts men off, even if her dull conversation meant she was only a trophy wife.
ever since she entered the house she has acted like she wanted to leave, and to leave only after kemal has, isnt in the spirit of the game, i wouldnt be surprised if she gets it from the public wherever she goes. i say spit on her.
her only activity besides booing was getting her fake boobs out. now men seemed to like them, and she did try very hard to get radio kudu with them, and even now theyre in the news of the world is theyre so over done, so exposed, its like seeing an armed copper in london, everywhere and nothing new.
she cant even pose for the pictures properly, looking all bent and pushing her belly rather than her plastic bruce lees towards the lens.
good news is there is a new housemate tonight, lets hope its kinga to show stupid bint oral how ist done.

Saturday, July 30, 2005

pick 'n' mix 

some random thoughts for the weekend..

we eat 640,000 tonnes of cheese in the uk every year, i love cheese.

why would a suicide bomber be afraid of being shot? surely he should be ready for death?

why are people so up in arms over grand theft auto having a bit of hidden sex in it when shooting people to smithereens in the rest of the game is ok?

wheres the best place to party for xmas and new year? we want somewhere hot and rockin. any ideas?

Friday, July 29, 2005

the provinical towns you jog round 

the leeds side streets that you slip down

the run now officially is 2km long with only a small pause to stroke the nice cat round the corner. other than that i am very pleased with the progress made, i no longer feel a fat napper could out run me. running is temporarily suspended for five days next week when it is being subsituted for swimming lessons. big pat on back :)

Thursday, July 28, 2005

hang the DJ, hang the DJ 

yes theres panic on the streets of Nodnol.
getting ready for work i find out there are arrests where i live in south london, low and behold it is the street i walk along every day. when returning home this evening there were armed police officers at the station and also going down to the platforms. and I mean armed.
i noticed last week that someone had tied two iraq flags to the street lamps above the floral tributes at edgware road and then 'removed'.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

abort mission 

started running today and got to the buses bit, and then had a stitch and had to walk back v disappointed. :(
today i learned another reason why i bought my ipod. the audi-oh is a vibrator you plug your ipod into and u listen to the music whilst the audio-oh vibrates to the music. it is a pearl shaped stimulator with a soft silicon butterfly and thin elastic harness to strap in place. only £50....
one thing that is really peeing me off is the decline of the local rail station. its a vicious circle, people are put off by vandalism, dirty public loos and safetly fears late at night. however more customers are needed to generate the cash to regenerate the stations and entice more customers. so railtrack is just letting the outlying stations rot away, when we need more people to use them. makes me sick.
good-o for one local community that clubbed together and decided to raise funds and sponsorship for their station and made it into a nice pleasant environment that benefitted everyone. thank fuck that there are still some intelligent people left in the UK, maybe mad cow disease is more widespread than they thought....

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

run baby run baby run baby run 

still going strong, had a night off last night and so pounding the pavement today was 'relatively' easy. i say relatively, that einstein has a lot to answer for.
had an odd phone call at home today, around tea time. some call centre firm called tulip, which are selling mobiles. anyway after a load of faffing when i said to take me off the mailing list i got two calls back, both 'highly offensive'. then during jogging someone slowed down and blew kisses from his horrid red vehicle. i automatically showed him the bird. then a nosey neighbour who had been standing at his gate in his slippers trying to see what the cop car was up to decided to mutter something as i jogged past. i mean my perfume isnt that effective??

Wednesday, July 13, 2005


its a sick discovery that the london bombers deliberately travelled from kings cross north, south, east and west to create a 'burning cross'. one of them couldnt because either his bomb did not detonate or the northern line was closed so couldnt get on it. as the city gets back to normal, the pile of flowers near edwgare road station gets bigger. the police are still manning the stations and the papers are still full of details from last week. we enter a new era of history.
one eerie coincidence, as i walked up the evacuated edgware road last week, heading towards the station, the tune from the film 28 days later was on my ipod. i thought how similar the scenes were....little did i know what had actually happened.

Monday, July 11, 2005


its been an odd few days, to say the least.
after the confusion and shock on Thursday, I flew to madrid for a hen weekend, which gave me a chance to forget about it for a while. yesterday I came back and took the tube for the first time since Thursday morning. I wasn't that afraid, as it was late on Sunday evening, but I had read the Sunday telegraph on the plane and had the descriptions of the carriages running through my head.
I was very tired this morning, but consciously hit the sleep button one extra time than normal, not wanting to have to face the journey into work. As I got nearer the station, I got more concerned, but seeing how many other people were doing the same seemed to be reassuring. There was definitely around a 50% reduction in number of passengers this morning. I was looking round all the time, out of paranoia rather than vigilance. A man kept rummaging in his bag and I did want to say 'can you stop doing that please?' as he was making me think all sorts of stuff.
as I walked past the floral tributes and messages left at Edgware road station, I was almost in tears. I feel London has become like Israel.

Thursday, July 07, 2005

Thursday 7th July 2005 

I am ok, if not still a bit shocked. today the northern line was not working, so i had to take a bus, and then was chucked off the victoria line. the fact that this is not to be unexpected with london transport, meant that when i went into the office i wasnt that aware of what had happened, just that there was lots of police and fire vehicles outside the office. but that happens regularly after security alerts.
but when i realised i was possibly moments away from witnessing the scenes or even being involved it was a scary thought. i was shaking and as the news developed, i became more conscious of my escape and how my house would make me feel better, so i left work and walked eight miles home. i am away for the weekend, however hope that the news does not get any worse, am releived my friends are all ok and hope you have a nice weekend. this cannot spoil our lives, peace and love, minnow.

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

subliminal cuts 

at 12.46pm today, an audible cheer indicated we have won the bid. good to see the british public managed to let out some exictement at midday on wednesday. am very pleased. it was beckhams chavtastic white shell suit that swung it.
talking of fashion, i have made a fabulous outfit discovery. on sunday i bought a green top, very eighties, with a pink sequined butterfly on it. was unsure at first, but bought it as it was so 'fame'. only last night did i realise i have some green sandals with pink crystal butterflies on them. adding my denim pedal pushers and (think voice of cat from red dwarf) i am lookin gooooooood.
day three of big jogger. ran for longer today, although did stop and stroke a cat for two mins. watched airline USA tonight, and someone had to buy an extra seat cos they were too fat. made me soooo glad i pounded the block.

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

jog on 

day two and i'm still peaking at ten minutes. i have a mantra now of 'no pain no gain' which is working, and i reckon that ten minutes four times a week is better than nothing. maybe next week i will manage fifteen. hopefully. jogging of course.
success is on the cards as not only have i found someone who has completed the base camp mount everest trek but i have found a way of combining supporting environmental charities and pulling boys and saving £25. bonus.
can i recommend the botanics deep hair conditioning mask with rice and honey in it. absolutely top shelf. costs £5 a jar, but this lasts over a month, bargaino.
can i also recommend you dont buy any fruit from sainsburys as it goes off straight away. mostly it goes off in the store, am thinking about taking some pictures next time as so fed up of telling the worlds most bored staff the fruits manky.

Monday, July 04, 2005

belle du jog 

i have made the decision to finally try and move the baby mountain that is my buddha belly. so i initially had planned on a 30min jog, that became a twenty minute target due to being late home from work. however on execution i only managed ten. at least its a start. at least its free. i imagined that i was witho and i admired the gorgeous willow trees that are my favourite british trees.
i came home and i love my new birkenstocks so have to wear them all the time, they make my feet look really cute and small. i swear i must have been chinese with bound feet in a previous life.
heard a funny story today. my ex-colleagues one year old son found a new toy the other day. apparently during the night, he woke up and was bored. so he took off his shorts and nappy. after a while he decided that eating his own shit was also boring he redecorated his room with baby cack. a story to be aware of before pro-creating.

Sunday, July 03, 2005


in an unlikely scenario the few words vanessa has spoken in the big bro house have indeed been true. saskia has confessed all, and therefore making her a prosser. well done. although her pimp looks like hes been practicing with a punch bag with maxwells face on it. she even got a mention at live 8, as the crowd were thanked for getting rid of her.

there must be a national campaign for the floyd to tour. i suggest a rainbow and black wristband.

Saturday, July 02, 2005


firstly id like to say that although i applaud the intention behind live 8, and have supported make poverty history since christmas, the major major problem i have is with those lucky shits watching in hyde park, berlin, rome, dublin, and especially philadelphia.
tomorrow i am going here i bet not even 5% of the crowds at any of these concerts buys fair trade goods or goes on holiday to africa. i bet they wouldnt be there if it was african artists getting paid for entertaining the crowd, generating an interest in african music. i should have gone to the eden one, but forgot. grrrr.

and so to the concert itself. so far bono has repeated a zooropa tour highlight with unchained melody which i loved and we have seen simon le bon looking like shakin stevens. will be looking forward to floyd, williams and ciccone-ritchie.

and finally, last night i rang 999. loud grunting outside my flat at half past midnight alerted me to a drunk injured chav trying to become a giant road kill. i called the police as i think i dont need that round here and the hospital is only 500 meters away. afterwards i felt guilty for calling the emergency services but on closer inspection of the tarmac this morning there is a visible load of blood so felt slightly better.

ah that explains it aaaaalll 

tits ooooot

Friday, July 01, 2005

how not to convince people youre not gay 

in the big bro house oral-ith asks anthony
"Are you two in a love relationship type thing?"
geordie boy says:
"Look, just because I've got a sun tan, like to wear pink, I'm a hairdresser and a dancer, it doesn't mean I'm gay..."

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