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Thursday, June 30, 2005

all shapes and sizes 

many people ask wny i became minnow. well actually min is an ancient egypt god of fertility, so min-now explains it all. i am a genius.
I'm having trouble believing that the gillian mckeith diet really makes people happy. even 'poop idol' michelle mcmanus was saying that she wouldnt go back to nachos and pizzas. so far this week I have eaten baked salmon, three bean salad, brown rice and loads of fruit. but right now id love to have my face in the biggest mountain of chocolate cake ever. I know it the booze that's not letting me shed the punds but crikey how boring is dieting?
big bro is becoming more entertaining but also highly irritating. last year was bad enough with the minging gurning jason who *still* thinks he would have won if nadia had been born a woman. anyway im beginning to think about how a global hate campaign against saskia would be the best course of action. someone who really isn't much more than a walking pair of boobs and mouth should be feeling pretty turd right now considering she dropped her knickers for a bloke not only looks like but *is* an annoying dirty scabby pikey workman. I mean, now that's 'classy'.
does anyone else think derek reminds them of casper the friendly ghost/willo the wisp?

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

frites et autobus 

all quiet on the blogging front. im experiencing the first tinges of packing it all in, purely because I reckon im blatantly unpopular. true most of my posts are utter canine excrement, but neither a slating comment or word of praise seem to be forthcoming. also the sheer high standards from the people over there on the rhs puts me to blogging shame. I am the netto of blogger.
still, I feel like the beautiful south, I should carry on regardless.
today's gripe is about crisps. I have given up the hallowed fried potato snack as I cunningly suspected that it contributed significantly to the minnow spare tyre appeal. my favourite varieties used to be McCoy's cheddar and onion, wotsits or, in a chance agreement with saddam Hussein, Doritos. however, not having let a single crisp molecule pass my lips for the past two weeks, I am suddenly feeling very much beleaguered by my loss. the reason is that my new colleagues at new job are innocently all indulging today in big fat lovely bags of crispys. and every time they eat one, the crunch gets louder. its like being in some weird torture show, cos you cant just leave and you cant tell them not to eat crisps. but its like fags, you cant go back. seen as i have already submitted to the cheese addiction i have to be strong.
I leave you with yesterdays complaint to London buses.
Dear TFL Buses
I would like to make a complaint about a driver of a specific bus and also bus drivers in general.
Last Friday evening at 6pm, I came out of Tooting Broadway tube to see that a 155 bus would be turning to approach the nearby bus stop. I ran to catch the bus and as usual got there just as the bus doors had closed. It was particularly important that I caught this bus, as it drops me off right outside my house and I needed to get back quickly that evening.
However the bus driver did not open the doors for me, unlike any other time, so I knocked on the doors. he then proceeded to drive off without letting me onboard, even though a lady was still getting her pass out where the driver sits. As I tried to catch the bus driver to let me on, I slipped and fell and injured my arm, which has given me great pain over the weekend. I should look into suing as it was blatantly obvious that I could board a stationary bus at a bus stop.
Recently I have had caution when getting onto TFL buses as quite a few of the drivers seem to drive with excessive speed. Knowing that both elderly passengers, those with children and also people supermarket items (a box of eggs I had in my shopping bag was broken by an over zealous speed demon driver) use this service they shouldn't be put at risk of injury when a driver has to brake suddenly to make the stop or avoid an accident.
Also the driver changeovers seem to take longer than necessary with drivers having to have an obligatory ten minute chat whilst they change over. If 'passengers' really are 'customers' these days then some consideration that idle chat means a whole load of people are waiting just for a change of driver is unacceptable in 2005.
I use the bus because its not practical for me to have a car in London and I want to protect the environment. I generally find buses very frequent and convenient to use, apart from when I think I might get a broken arm or damaged food. The less well off people have no choice, and as Ken Livingstone has made buses a priority for spending, some of that should apply to improving customers experience, rather than just executing a service.
I look forward to hearing your explanation of the above topics.

Monday, June 27, 2005

anyone for tea? 

right now im a bit upset about a few things so to distract me im looking for holidays.
i did really want to do base camp mount everest trek, but am very scared of heights and there seem to be quite a few trecherous climbs and ropey old rope bridges to cross. so am thinking of a compromise where i get to see everest, do some easier treks and visit the chitwan national park to try and see some wildlife. im not completely sold though. if anyone does know someone who has done BCME then please let me know.

secondly im thinking about doing goa for xmas and new year. not read up much about it but luckily i have lonely planet for both places.

everything else in my head is comparing things to nob ends.... jog on.

Saturday, June 25, 2005


who decided to put vicky pollard in the big brother?

Thursday, June 23, 2005

top gear 

for a long time i was stuck in a rut at the bottom of a large hill. i found my 4x4 gear and left the quagmire but careered off track for a while. i recovered my route by fluke and then accelerated up the hill.
right now i feel like im just at that stage where the engine is straining and you need to change gear. im keeping my foot on the gas, ready to shift up. on my climb up the hill there have been a few boulders to get over. today i faced another one and i feel so relieved that i faced it and drove over it. it aftermath is going to be some pain, some days off work, but hopefully a success.

is it just me or does anyone else salivate at the thought of cheddar? i mean seriously be addicted enough to have to have some once a day? and feel guilty about it like it is the food equivalent of crack?

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

agony and ecstasy 

have had a really horrid day today and yet in some way it wasnt. i felt really odd, spaced out, hot, tired and unable to think to the point where i almost went home because i felt so ill. but i struggled on regardless.
i eventually started feeling a bit better at around 4pm and by then had made progress on a few items. seems like i am turning the corner in lots of projects at the moment and catching up with some old mates.
this evening i have been invited to two 'events', made an appointment to see a foreign film and investigated some possible holiday options. cool. ive had quite a few peaks recently, and you have to expect some lows.

Monday, June 20, 2005

london calling.... 

yesterday was a blinder, in more ways than one. decided to go to clapham common for a late lunch and beers in the sun. managed to pop on some shorts and t that looked ok and made my way to the pub. surprisingly there were tables outside and the bar wasnt too crowded. had some yummy fish cakes with chips and lots of beers.
we headed over to the train station, and helpfully there were plenty of trains to twickers, even got a seat. made our way to the ground and stood in the queue to pick up the tickets and only took 15 mins, sweet.
off to find our seats, stopped on the way for loos and more beers, find seats and surprise one of my fave bands ASH are supporting!! wahey!!! was dancing where i sat cos im getting on a bit but loved it and Tim especially, yummy man.
am disappointed that mosh pit crowd took so long to rock to ash, and was regretting not being the one in the front row that tim name checks for going mad for them. suddenly having plenty of beers and toilets nearby is looking like an old womans choice.
a mexican wave kicks off as we wait for the main band, and am surprised only the bottom tier joins in. when U2 hit the stage everyone except the top tier stands up, which is disappointing, but good job the boys put in an outstanding performance. i did feel a bit 'removed' by being in the stands and having been on the zooropa tour i knew that the set back then was the tops, however the atmosphere was wicked. they played all the classic stadium tunes, pride, sunday bloody sunday, where the streets have no name, still havent found, zoo station. they played the emotional ones, running to stand still, sometimes you have to make it on your own, with or without you, one.
they played one of my faves and hardly played, whos gonna ride your wild horses at which point i almost cried and crumpled to the ground. new tunes like city of blinding lights and vertigo really worked, old ones such as bullet the blue sky and the fly somehow sounded as fresh as the day i first heard them, somehow even more energetic guitar from edgy babes.
i found new respeck for larry, who was cool as a cucumber and was the last off stage, saluting the crowd. i did find issue with bono's shoes, i hate teddy boy loafers, your a massive rock star mate, you dont need the extra height!!!
i loved the show, i want to go again. i needed it, it was like a reassuring hug, it was perfect weather, perfect songs.
there even wasnt a massive issue with getting home, was back by 11.30. it felt good, striding home, past eleven at night in the UK, in shorts and tee, with the sounds of the greatest rock band ever still ringing in my ears. sweet.

Sunday, June 19, 2005

beautiful day 

not only is the sun shining and it looks like it will last all day, but i am lined up for a wicked days entertainment. shortly i will be popping out for a nice relaxed lunch by the common, then will hop over to twickenham to see the greatest band in the world, U2.
i'll be singing from our front block seats... yahwehhhh!!!!
soooo excited!!

Friday, June 17, 2005


had the most amazing day out today. as our team day out we went to thorpe park. it was brilliant, and thoroughly enjoyed the whole day, despite initially thinking otherwise.
i used to go to theme parks every year, our annual school trip was to lightwater valley where basically we used to shit our pants on the rat (a rollercoaster in the dark) and the super looper, the UK's first double looper and try and complete it 14 times in one day, yes indeedy.
but its been a long time since i was that robust, that unafraid, that able to handle g forces beyond my control. i really couldnt remember in much detail the last time i had ridden a coaster, so it was all a bit of a mission, in one way or another.
needless to say i wanst going to be in the wuss group. first off was the colossus which i kind of thought was a regular rollercoaster, and it was, however i find out that i am not a big fan of the 'drop' sensation and i was out of my seat which was very unnerving. i did find the upside down elements quite reassuring but the worst bit was the slow corkscrew. im not sure what it was but i think that the fact it was very slowed down made it twenty times worse.
next stop a slower ride, the rumba rapids, you know where you are in a round dinghy and get splashed on a 'rapids' type course. one to keep the less hardcore fans interested. next was 'detonator' and i am sorry i did wimp out at this stage. being hoisted up to a stupid height and then subjected to 5.5 g's woth of force just wasnt my game.
next up was 'nemesis' which is where you hang down from the rollercoaster. never having had experienced this way of riding a rail i wanst sure what to expect and had varying views from my boss who was traumatised by the colossus saying it wasnt as bad to the seasoned theme park goer who was taunting it as the worst ride ever.
although i was conscious that my legs would be crushed to death, i didnt mind it that much, in fact i was quite up for doing it twice.
next was a stop for lunch and off to the log flume which was quite scary as part of it was in the dark and also a bit reckless without being strapped in. next was a backwards rollercoaster in the dark that kept stopping and was generally naff. it5 was getting close to leaving time and i really wanted to go on the ride called rush.
so we queue up and as we start approaching the beginning of the 'line' (only after ten mins wait) suddenly the ride breaks down. am absolutely gutted as its my fave thing, a huge swing. we hang around as the ride supervisors manage to cobble together a fix, which we compare to ctr-alt-del. minutes later we are back in biz, geared up for the ride. i really didnt think it would be more than an extreme pirate ship, but actually it was a bit like a continuous repeat of the drop on a coaster. as soon as we finished i defo wanted to go again, but had no time. next time first off!!!

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

well i never.... 

michael jackson shocked the world today by announcing that he wasnt going to share his paedo-styled love shack bed with boys from the ages of 9-13 (before dumping them) anymore.

sam, derek and roberto are all up for noms in bb. sam fave to leave....

latest technology means that every home is network ready. only a matter of time?

interesting thought brought up a debate on G8. a concert is fine and dandy for us over here in our self obsessed over indulgent greedy country, however 'making poverty history' is more than cancelling debts. i mean, would nescafe really give up their millions and actually give coffee bean growers a decent cut? discuss.

Sunday, June 12, 2005


after saying yesterday big brother was crap, I am enjoying the box task very much, probably my favourite task of all time.
i have spent the whole weekend either drunk or hungover. it is amazing what a dick of myself i can make. good job i cant remember much.

Saturday, June 11, 2005

reality bites 

ive been watching big bro 6 now for a couple of weeks and theres something wrong with this years show. im not quite sure what it is either that is making it such a poor inferior to last years portion.
is it the people? dunno. i like kemal, derek, maxwell and saskia. i hate sam and science, anthonys a nobody and craig is ok. roberto is quite fiery and makosi was good but has gone off the boil. i mean they are quite interesting, apart from vanessa and sam but the vibe isnt there.
even the tasks seem quite lame, and big brother is supposed to be evil but they drop in extra food and keeps being over sensitive about 'threatening and intimidating behaviour' which they didnt do last year.
theres no twists, and its become one big argument thats quite boring. even dermot cant hide the fact its become very lame.
maybe cos last years was so good that you cant beat it. maybe im just bored of it.
however i am loving celeb love island. and im making other people like it too which is good. paul danan makes the show. so does rebeccas comedy tash. and the fact lee sharpe is sooooo thick to go anywhere near titmuss, let alone fancy her. i mean shes a money making faker, wonder when the video will be out.

Thursday, June 09, 2005


get ur eyeballs round this

btw lovin new greenday and white stripes singles
and grazia!!!!

Wednesday, June 08, 2005


i really think i deserve some flowers. i mean i havent had any flowers for over eight years, and i think ive done really well recently. and i spied a bird with a nice bunch of reds on the escalator just as i was lamenting being flowerless, so it must be nearly my turn.
ive had an idea that so far isnt exploited in the uk for what i want which is good. its just having the time to start it.

Saturday, June 04, 2005

love angel music baby 

bit of a mish-mash day today, started off by getting up ultra early for a saturday, even though i have been tired all week. typical. bit of tidying up here and there, some tinternet smurfin and home and away omnibus watchin until i realised my mates were coming round to help move me furniture again, and i was short of beverages. so a quick nip into town and i just happened to spy a pair of gold strappy sandals in new look. the size sixs were like boats, and the fours a bit snug, but wearable. a check confirmed no fives, so the fours had to fit. am well pleased as they are not too high but very going out-able.
so have celebrated with a veg fest, toms, aspags, courgette, onion and coriander with bean burgers. still confuses me that i have an ultra healthy diet compared to a few years ago, yet my skin aint giving me a break about it. infact its a break out instead. damn dietary bollocks. i do feel much better today waistline wise, its defo cutting out crisps and baguettes with cheese mayo filler that works.
was watchin mtv earlier about a girl who had a party at 15 when she flew into the party by helicopter. immensely jealous im tempted to have a party for my 30th.
but hey goldshoes rule!!!
on a sicknote, i could fancy roberto from bb6, at a pissed push. strange but true.
and i have to say my ipod is rulin. at the mo im blastin out a playlist at a considerable decibel level for a saturday evenin in. good job the number one all time fave wine, berberana dragon tempranillo 2002, guaranteed no hangover, runner up in the international wine and spirit competition 2004 is helping me. yeeeesh

Friday, June 03, 2005


thanks to everyone for their kind words, i think dr carter leaving and my cd tower trying to kill me had something to do with it. after today and red wine i feel better emotionally, if not physically. sore throats are b'stards.
anyway ive been mulling this over for a while and i would like to tell you all a story. a long time ago, in a galaxy far far away i worked for a company where bad things happened. and i mean bad things. par example:
a company i worked at were performing rounds of redundancies every sic montsh. my friend in my team rings my boss to tell him that she was leaving as she had been offered another job at another company. this was a mistake, granted, but she did offer to take someones place who was on the redundancy list to in effect 'save' someones job. she was told that it was too late to do this.
she explained that giving her months notice she would be finishing work at the beginning of june. my boss asked her to stay until the end of june, meaning eight weeks instead of the contracted two. she compromised and agreed to work two weeks over the months notice and would leave mid june.
as part of working on high profile multi-national customers there has to be a sensitive hand over to another colleague when someone leaves. my friend was performing a handover to another colleague who happened to mention that as she was taking on my friends customers, she had too many so needed to off load a smaller one to another guy, who my friend knew was on the redundancy list. my friend twigged that this guy was no longer on the redundancy list and in effect, he had been saved by her going, even though she had been told this wasnt possible.
now this wouldnt be so bad, but my friend actually was a hard worker, with two small children who wasnt a moaner and a slacker. she even lent my boss a spare handset when he lost his mobile and she gets repaid like this?
later that year, when it wa smade know i wanted to leave, my boss asked me if i wanted to leave now, as opposed to when i had planned. i told him that it was my decision when i left, to which he replied 'even if it means saving someones job' to which i had to bite my tongue and refrain, i managed to curtail it to 'i think that has already been done this year'......

Thursday, June 02, 2005

feeling sorry 

for myself. i have a really sore throat, bigs things to do on my own and had a huge disappointment this week. i think its just the fact everything is too up and down. and i am tired. and im on a diet so i am pining after lots of cheese. so all in all pretty hacked off.

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

more action, less speed 

kind of have to get my ass in gear, and sometimes im more of a ditherer than u would expect. i really need to get hold of a builder/decorator who can come and do some minor aesthetic touch ups to chez minnow. i have to move large pieces of furniture and sack the current estate agents. the plan has had a rocket up its bum.
im emailing lots of car manufacturers in the vain hope that one of them will donate a vehicle to the cheetah project i worked on in botswana, as the current bush 4x4 is unsafe let alone anything else. if no corporate big profit type establishment will sponsor us then i will have to start fundraising... dont know how tho... hmm

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