its cold today. am nursing a bad hangover and feeling rather sheepish.
its a bad day today. we've finally bit the bullet and sacked bobby robson. i suppose it had to be done, but it doesnt help our bid for rooney much. maybe shearer will take over. the papers are touting martin o'neill (again) or steve bruce. i dont mind either as long as we do better than we have done recently. only time will tell.

scared myself silly watching most haunted on saturday night and no doubt will be doing the same this evening. for those less familiar its the same guy who was with craig david on bo selecta ghost hunting. hes a medium and tells yvette fielding of blue peter 'fame' of the spooks living in a particular location. then they go round in the dark looking for ghosts and often hearing strange noises to which they all scream and run away from. it was particularly good the other night at the drury theatre in london where you could hear chains and three people saw some 'legs' going up the stairs on their own. cool.

found something out the other day. with the points i have 'earned' putting all my expenses on american express ( which if you ever have to deal with, dont bother theyre rubbish. i think the clue is in the name ) that i get a free 60 min flying lesson from red letter days worth £185. so before i leave london i can treat myself to a shit scary small airplane ride that i can actually pilot myself. and i can take a friend. any volunteers?

weird. i am thinking about posting about the different states of terror alert the yanks have and ray/ron/theincredibleshrinkingman goes and does it before me. anyway what i was going to say was that because unfortunately i work for an american conglomerate i get notifications at what colour alert they are quite regularly. whether its yellow banana or orange delight doesnt bother me one iota since we have been living under terrorist threat since the seventies.
and to change your mind as often as the sceptics have is a little ridiculous. i know they were pretty shook up by 9/11 but i think not realising the bombing of the embassies in africa, USS Cole and pearl harbour should have given some indication that they were possibly under threat.
i do think the CIA is in disarray and the knee jerk and over cautious reactions are something to ignore. instead common sense, vigilance and basic security measures need to be enforced. theyre being really over the top about security etc on the anniversary of 9/11 and also going on about how most companies in manhatten dont have back up plans and insurance in the wake of what had happened to the WTC. do they expect something to happen on the same day? really? what about the other 364 days??
that stupid leaflet sent out to tell us what to do in an emergency was a waste of time money and trees. i mean keep your keys and mobile close to you isnt anything new. i honestly think that being more aware of crossing the road and driving will save more lives!!!

i'm becoming a holiday/travelling/experience junkie. every day i am finding something else i want to do, somewhere else i want to go, something i want to do. so far this week i have been thinking about antarctica, base camp mount everest and a wild cat course in south africa.
im greedy. after all i have been to australia, hong kong, singapore, tanzania, zanzibar, egypt, morocco, cyprus, greece, portugal, spain, france, belgium, holland, new york and washington, antigua and iceland. but i want more.
id like to go to japan, vietnam and cambodia to visit angkor wat, rio for carnival, florence venice and rome, and bonnie scotland. but its all a question of pennies. maybe i could just work until i have enough money to go away for a while, not sure.

theres been some amazing stories from the olympics. theres tony ally, one of our divers now thinking about switching to boxing. hes got a hearing difficulty, lost his brother when he was nine and had to have has arm muscle taken out to regrow after a motorbike accident.
then theres nick skelton who broke his neck four years ago, with the prospect of never riding again. but he was out today, and had a clear first round. these are the real athletes. they dont get offered £50,000 a week they do it cos they want to win and they love their sport. now thats inspirational.

not sure what to do tomorrow. probably get my poo organised for namibia and thailand and maybe put my bag together for france and do some reading for my course. oh and starve as i dont have any food left. :)

its funny how things end up. i spoke to one of the gang of uni mates that i am going to france with in a couple of weeks last night. she actually goes out with another guy from our course so hes coming with us. they bought a house in london last year and they are thinking along the same lines as me as what to do next. we are all disillusioned about our jobs and careers and are thinking about doing a masters next year. we're all thinking about returning to our original degree subjects of environment and geography. we're all thinking about moving back up north where its cheaper.

i think it takes a certain kind of person to do an office job. theres the politics that i cant stand, along with the sexism racism and other prejudices that exist in the white middle class male game of success. then theres the clothes. office stuff just isnt funky and being smart and presentable requires a lot of money and management every week. then theres the actual work. sitting infront of the computer screen everyday requires some kind of brute mental strength. i simply dont find it inspiring. i do zoom out from my desk every now and again, like multimap, and see that i'm just another number behind a desk, on a floor, in building, in a city and i just become obsolete and lost amongst the others doing similar mundane tasks.

i wasnt born, fed, told off, taught and supported to do this daily chore. im more intelligent and human than this. there is an atmosphere that i should be lucky to have this job and that there are no other jobs outside and no potential to move on up or sideways or anywhere. and the slog to get here means theres always another hit of the sleep button every morning. nothing to motivate me to get up.

on a lighter note, had a balanced meal last night:
two white things, quorn roast and roast potatoes, each taking 40mins to cook
two orange things, mashed sweet potatoes and carrots, each taking 20mins to cook
two green things, green beans and garden peas, each taking 5 mins to cook
and veggie gravy made with the water from boiling the carrots and sweet potatoes so no nutrients lost!!!

i found this when floating around in cyber space and it looks like i have an amazon-esque average user review of five stars? if its all just interwebby bollocks then i dont mind, its inspired me to post.
i successfully managed to deal with my big brother 'come down' by 'working from home' and finding a new selection of tv to waste my time with. i really should be getting on with my new career etc but its seems endless repeats of will and grace, queer eye and csi are always on to distract me. nevertheless i have found the olympics compelling, and am wondering how i am going to cope when they arent on anymore. what will i do??
its been a good olympics, plenty of drama, british bias and the lovely craig doyle who apprently likes a pint. theres been the ups and downs that comes with sport, and i especially like the 'surprise' medals, eg todays windsurfing bronze.
we've laughed at suzis wind problems, been embarrased by crams commentary and entralled by davies 'bruce lees' (hard nips)
theres been an upsurge of talent 'emerging' in unusual sporting categories for us brits, including womens weightlifting and fencing. we've done well in our traditional areas of equestrian, rowing and sailing but i am disappointed that we havent done better in the hockey.
outstanding performance so far has to be the boxing kid, i saw his match last night and after never having watched boxing before i'm definitely booking my seat for this guys next round on Friday evening. a legend in the making. apparently his dad took him to the boxing club as he was such a hyperactive kid. if i ever reproduce i'll be doing the same.
and i did my bit for the next games tonight aswell. yes i bought a lottery ticket. i'm ashamed how badly our athletes are treat compared to some of our football players who sometimes dont put in the same efforts (yes you anderton) and yet they're vilified if they dont win a medal. i hope if we are bidding for the 2012 games we bid for our future athletes to have the coaches, psychologists, facilities and funding they need for us to remain 'great'.

Its my birthday today!!!

well it seems the brits, yanks and frogs are ganging up against the krauts for the eventing gold medals. wonder where thats happened before?

day off tomorrow where i'll be doing some extreme trampolining where you bounce in a harness attached by elastic. cant wait. also shopping for a new top for saturdays birthday party and dinner at my mates in the evening where no doubt some rose d'anjou will be consumed.

things that disturb me about the olympics:
no armpit hair on the swimmers
the use of washing baskets during badminton
'life is life' the european anthem, theres no limits by 2unlimited and phil collins as inbetweeny music.
why craig doyle isnt my husband
the mens costumes revealing er things in weightlifting
how boring judo is

ok now i'm annoyed cos we should have won team silver and individual gold in the eventing and we've been robbed. somehow bronze medals aint good enough for me, only silver and gold will do.
and then people who cancel on me. have booked free cholesterol test with boots for tomorrow and then i get a call at 4 today saying that the woman goes home at six tomorrow so i have to rearrange the appointment until next week. i made the appointment last week and had arranged everything for tomorrow already, so that and the fact my manager cancelled the mid year review just means i'll have to re-arrange what i'm doing. everyone just stick to the plan and its easier ok?
now im becoming an ebay addict. if only pink ipods stayed at £43......

am pissed off. again. everything is contriving against me.
1. Bloody blogger. three times now ive written a great post and its had some kind of error uploading.
2. bloody sainsburys. ok so i picked up the wrong flavour quiche. and my fridge works perfectly well. i just knew that you wouldnt let me swap it for a leek cheese and chive one cos i hate broccoli. deducts marks scored for giving me lindt choccies as birthday present.
3. bloody eventing. now fox-pitt has had to withdraw his horse and was in best position and mean the yanks are in the lead now going into the showjumping where we will probably knock down every jump.

a really good day today. i really enjoyed the dressage and the late surge from parry in the swimming to put GB in pole position for some medals. we also got through the boxing and sailing rounds and surprisingly got further than expected in fencing- a relatively new sport for GB. and also saw our gutsy pe teacher in the womens weightlifting.
somewhat less interesting was ping pong sorry table tennis. it seems you have to kind of serve with your head and i was wondering how and why you would make this your chosen discipline. yes it requires a quick reaction but its hardly in the same league as gymnastics or rowing for shwoing your abilities. pretty much should be kept in the games room of your spanish hotel i reckon.

full on diet plans are in progress. fish and bean salad this week, or quiche coleslaw and beetroot. having a treat on saturday with a quorn roast, doing roast potatoes, sweet potato mash, peas and carrots with lots of veggie gravy. yum.

Take my Quiz on QuizYourFriends.com!
yay! the olympics and the premiership kicked off today. and I just know Ive done pants in the first week of fantasy footie. i did have to laff earlier when i heard darren andertons swap to birmingham city was on a pay as you play basis. ha ha.

tip: if your doing veggie bacon microwave is much better than frying. frying results in that crappy american style brittle bacon whilst microwaving seems to save it from becoming a giant slice of pretend pork scratching.

mmm watching smoggies v the toon and so far boateng and mendieta have got away with murder. and craig bellamys attempt to become david beckhamesque and move away from his welsh pikeyness is failing miserably. first it was the fact he couldnt close his mouth with his new teeth and now his silly long hair doesnt look good, all slimy. and lovely roberts making the ref laff. and now hes going for goal!
woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
bellamys just scored!!!
now just dont sit back like usual/england.

fact. sainsburys honey blush toilet paper exactly matches my walls.

am mega mega skint. today i had to think of how to buy some filling for sandwiches, tea for saturday night and a bottle of wine for sundays bbq for under £5. felt like an episode of ready steady cook (with the lovely Fern not silly Ainsley). anyway i failed, mainly cos shopping in sainsburys and also cos i chose rose d'anjou wine cos thats the region in france we are going to in september. nevertheless i have vegetarian bacon so i bought some eggs and a fish bake for tea so hopefully that will keep me going.
and in the meantime it better be hot tomorrow so i can keep myself busy working on my tan. (just checked its meant to be 25 degrees celsius) and reading my books.

not only am i saving for france, namibia and thailand but am also considering having microdermabrasion. its where fine crystals are blasted at your face to give you a chemical peel effect without having the peel. posh had her acne scars removed using it. again it takes a number of goes but should even out skin, get rid of any spots and also treat fine lines all at once. so next time im getting lasered then im going to ask more about it. cool.

wow the mystery machine has sat nav. and guys daphne has a cell phone ;)

have been watching this brillaint documentary on national geographic called seconds from disaster. basically it takes well known disasters and recreates the story using computer generated graphics, recontstructions, eye witness accounts and actual film of the real event. then the whole buil-up to the disaster is covered in detail, and the impact and cause analysed. so far the programme has examined a swedish ferry fire, the oklahoma bombing, the german high speed train crash and most sad of all the crash of concorde.
the fire on the ferry was quite a frightening programme. within thirty minutes a small fire had developed into the whole ship glowing in the night sky. most of the portugese crew didnt speak english or any nordic language and hadnt been trained for long enough. the aesthetic covers for the asbestos boards in the corridors had fuelled the fire, as they were made of a substance that acted like pouring petrol on a fire. and created deadly fumes of carbon monoxide and cyanide gases.
a door propped open on the car deck which had a large extractor fan to remove exhaust fumes sucked the fire across the ship and down onto other floors. and the captain left the ship without knowing if everyone had got to safety. really put me off getting on any ferry ever. and it just shows you how you put your life in other peoples hands, and at the end of the day they dont care as long as the monies rake in.

right my ahem 'day' now consists of:
decaff coffee
joe millionaire 2 or trisha
check email
a bit of scooby doo
surf tinternet
home and away and lunch always together
will and grace
check email
couple of documentaries from UK TV documentary channel (where else?) oh or national geographic
pop to shop
dinner
coffee
soaps
surf tinternet
queer eye for the straight guy
msn conversations
seconds from disaster
coffee
bed
reading the book 'are you the one for me?' by barbra de angelis


isnt queer eye great? US version of course the UK one sucks. probably the only time that the US win that war.
anyway all fab five guys are well fab. i particularly like carson who just is like all over the guys when hes dressed them up. and hes such a bitch. i like dressing up men in nice clothes. theres one guy i know who id love to smother in sharp cutting armani and then rip it off mm mmmm.

then theres thom who does the interior decor. and it always looks slightly too swish. i know someone else whod like a sort of sophisticated bond pornesque lair, with loads of buttons and toys.
then theres the weird one that does food. he even sounds like lloyd grossman and looks far too odd. but he needs to show my dad how to cook, big style. and then make him do it every day. i think my mam deserves the roles reversed after 30 years.

then theres kyan the 'grooming' guru. now i dont like being compared to a dog and i have a billion 'products' thanks to the sis working for clinique but im sure he can sort out my barnet.
and finally theres kai. he is so cute. i want him as my gay trendy cool little brother who i meet up with and go out with all the time. now.

now this really peed me off earlier. i was popping to the shop and as usual walking down the street thinking nice thoughts. in london stylee i was keeping my gaze about knee height ahead and wasnt focusing on anything really and kind of vaguely looking at what was about a meter in front of me.
i was actually visualising being on a beach in thailand and one of the guys on the trip was just gorgeous and as i needed sun tan cream rubbed into my back he of course volunteered and really rubbed it in well and was very erotic. and then i would be playing it cool and say thanks and walk away as if i wasnt interested, playing the 'game'.

when this woman who i think might have just got off the bus i dont know she just kind of appeared very mr benn-ish and yes she was slightly over weight but not to any significant degree. and suddenly she stops and steps to the side. now my immediate thought is oh shes a mentally challenged person that frequents london streets and is just letting me by. but no. she says to me that i was staring at her (and i mean how would she know? does she have eyes in the back of her head? if so devils spawn!) and because i was staring that i should be let past.

well 1) i wasnt staring at her and shes being paranoid 2) she disturbed my beach suntan fantasy and 3) she said something to me as i went past that wound me up. so sorry but i had to say i'm just walking up the f-ing street to her because i was. i dont care about her or what she looks like or what she had for tea or where she lives or anything. i care about my beach scene!!!! i always get the nutters. i think ive had enough of paranoid twats and smelly drunks with legs like bird feeders with big holes in his knees. im sure manchester has been cleaned of such filth.

its funny how things dont change. have been watching quite a lot of scooby doos and CSI's. theyre both basically the same. a dastardly murder or crime and a set of clues unearthed by those pesky kids and a grumpy caught villain or too. the only difference is the acting is csi is more wooden and there are more scooby snacks in scooby doo.
but the CSI guy who is the lab boy is very cute. now if only he could take me over the mass spectrometer.

i got bitten in my own bed in ald larndon town by a mozzie last night. two things i dont like are mozzies and cockroaches. theres not an ecological reason or need for mozzies and they morph and adapt to anti mozzie things really quickly. in fact theres a different type of mozzie on each line of the underground. (fact ma minnow circa '98). and cockroaches can survive without their heads for three days and a nuclear winter. both evil evil things. am sure they were put here just to torture me.

well what a weekend.
friday had first full lasering session. im having my bikini line permanently removed of pubiscles. i wore my best knickers and had to shave my beaver into the required style and then she lasered the shaven bits. it did hurt a little bit, but not as much as waxing. cant wait until its not there forever.
you cant sunbathe on the area treated and you can wax or pluck, but you can shave or use cream. it only takes about five minutes and six or so sessions at £85 a go will see me hair free!

so you see i was right again. i picked nadia to win from day one (damn 50-1 shot!) and correctly got the order right of who left on friday night. i think it was a bit weird big brother this year. they wanted controversey and arguments but i think endemol got more than what they bargained for.
after all that happened i still think it was unfair that emma left after fight night. victor was funny in the diary room, but him and jason spending so much time in bed reminded me of me when i was 15, kind of bored waiting until i could go out.
so how will next year top this one? can you get more than full scale fighting, sex (twice), nudity, and sheer mentalists? and yet it still wasnt as popular as when brian and helen were in it. the novelty is wearing off and i think that BB6 will have to have something different. i have thought of a really cool task tho.

the weather is playing havoc with everything. lycos decided to lauch a new version of the standard email and then it cocked up so it went back to the original version. and blogger went tits up last night after id written a post as well.

thought i would tell you about some live acts i have seen. so in no particular order
suede
the auteurs
smashing pumpkins
verve
U2
luscious jackson
coldcut
the stone roses
robbie williams at the royal albert hall
robbie williams at knebworth
ash
moby
red hot chilli peppers

id just like to say a big up to j sainsbury
he has sent me some free choccies for my birthday (a tad early and when i'm on a diet but thoughful nonetheless) AND theyre my favourite ones. wooo hooooo!!!
yummy yummy lindt choccies in my tummy

a warning. for anyone trying to screw me over. no not like that. i mean taking the mick. being ridiculous. eg my landlord who owns the freehold. £2000 for a managing company just to re-do the rendering around the front doors? who do you think I am? george bush? u cant fool me mister.
i have tricks up my sleeve and you just wait until i send you the reply your looking forward to. i can almost smell smarmy b'stard on the paper. well you messed with the wrong chick here. i play dirty. i can withold services charges for next year as you still wont provide proof of buildings insurance. i have legal advice. ha ha ha ha ha

country bumpkin

had the most gorgeous weekend ever. had a very frenetic train journey to bath on saturday morning, the highlight being trying to use my newly aquired first aid skills. nevertheless she wasnt dying and the ambulance men managed to find out she was ok.

anyway made it to my mates parents house in between bath and bristol. its in a tiny village full of converted barn houses, with a rectory, farm house and old monk houses. we had a dip in the pool and then we were ready to go to the village bbq.

its one of those quaint little middle england affairs where everyone brings a salad or dessert and plenty of wine is drunk. we meet the gay couple who manage to tell us all the gossip, who likes who and various tales of lady lawrences and colostomy bags. the little boys have organised a treasure hunt, and we had to guess how long their piece of string was.

being a veggie i find means at bbqs there is either a really good or really crap deal. i usually end up bringing some veggie sausages or bean burgers as people dont tend to provide, or i find i get some yummy fish. so i had tuna steaks especially prepared for me. fab.

so all in all a great weekend, brilliant food, baking hot sunshine, private pool, a 400 year old farm house with exposed beams to sleep in, lots and lots of wine and peace and quiet. lovely. i am getting old arent i?

am mega skint this month, hardly any money at all, but am doing low budget activities to keep me entertained.
this weekend will be filled with tax return, gardening, reading, watching BB finale and the Last Emperor. maybe a bit of smurfin and glass painting. when does the footie start???