for dello
the first elements of the plan are being cemented. i have booked my place on a cheetah conservation project for two weeks in november in namibia. i have paid my deposit and am booking flights. my friend is coming with me and as its for a charity we can raise money.
i will be booking my three weeks turtle egg monitoring in thailand in january probably next week. am continuing to save to pay for these, which arent just holidays, they are essential items for my cv, my course and for making contacts.
its like fulfilling a dream, but so far this early stage of the plan is formulating and will take seven months to complete. then we will be on early stage phase two of the plan. whilst all of this is going on i need to maintain a cool calm exterior, put up with the day to day rubbish at work and concentrate on having fun for myself whilst keeping an eye open for any stray males. all very complicated. make any sense?

i'm getting old and selfish. and i'm going to put myself first. within reason of course. i went through a time when i thought only about myself and that was wrong. but now i think i compromise myself for other people.
take for example this month i am paying for my major holiday this year, which is a 'volunteer conservation project' as well as two weeks away. I also have a hen weekend to go on which looks as exciting as an alan bennett play. now theres also a birthday party in a bar that i havent been to before but i know might be quite cool and possibly full of nice men. then there is a leaving party at a bar that i have been to before which is cheesy and expensive and full of letchy men. the only thing is i kind of well i didnt say yes but then i didnt say no either. but i am going to have to cos i plain dont want to go, i dont have the money. its not going to go down well but hey....
i actually had a nice weekend away. not sure if it was because it was the countryside and animals that helped, or the plain old fact that i wasnt at work, but for the first time ever i think i really didnt mind being at the olds house.
i think going to hell and back every day is finally getting to me. i dont like being stuck in a corner and tied down financially. its fourteen months till d day and counting.

i HATE
not having time to enjoy somewhere
missing out on anything
rain and 50mph winds in June
my new digital camera not working
canon repair
packing
jason from big bro
talking about work things with over 40 year olds
ironing
being single
not having fun in the office anymore
songs of praise
butter
margarine
being tired
having a microwave thats half an inch too high
being skint
being cold

it seems politics religion and sex are still the hot topics whether in blogland or real life.
so the UKIP are splitting the tories down the middle like the SDP and could seriously affect their chances of winning just like the SDLP and Labour in the eighties? I do like the idea that we are moving away from our traditional two horse race and there are some young fillies and nags battling it out for the chance to rule. just worried that there could be a foignaven event and we end up being governed by the monster raving loons after all.
am finding that the increased gym activity is having no effect on achieving the desired shape. despite swimming and pilates the extra bits remain. might have something to do with eating a bit more? am considering stepping up the pain barrier and doing more spin classes so can do swimming after work and spin during lunch. so if you see someone with fat thighs and everything else ok then thats me.
watched 21 grams on sunday, a film written and produced by the same guys who did amores perros. starring benicio del torro (mexican policeman from traffic) naomi watts (blonde form mullholland drive and the ring) and sean penn (ex mr madonna). quite a bit of the film centered around del torros faith in catholicism. the more i watched the film the more i got reminded of how much i hate mass and the idea of getting people to chant and sing things like its a cult but cos its been around for ages somehow its not seen as weird or dangerous. good film though but not as hardcore drug taking as id expected.
cant wait for farenheit 9/11.

i'm not going to dwell on last nights events needless to say i had already predicted a french victory on the basis that beattie should have been picked over heskey and owen for the team and getting more kids to exercise reduces our reliability on two players, whereas france have at least five 'stars'.
i saw a report today saying the london is the most expensive city in europe to live in, and second most expensive in the world, behind tokyo. i think that spending so much moeny on petrol, housing and food, we dont have enough left over for nice clothes holidays and pastimes. we end up buying cheap crap made by kids in venezuela and drinking to 'reduce stress' from our work. and i dont see i getting any better. we've lost all self respect and become fat uncouthed yobs who terrorise anyone who isnt a stereotypical brit. i feel lost and used in my own country.
i noticed on t'internet that you can actually buy giant cockroaches as pets. am concerned that these creatures of immense survival abilities and also vomit inducing qualities can be sold to dumb asses with the potential of a new pest control problem in the UK. I for one will be moving to mars if there is the same roach problem here as in spain or australia where they literally get everywhere, even inside your alarm clock. i can handle snakes and even possibly the big hairy spiders as long as they dont jump but get flying shiny beetly things with long antennae and hairy legs then i am seriously not laughing.

sorry but thats got to be the best bit of big brother so far. even better than the nasty nick 'live by the sword, die by the sword' incident. pure class. minta.
and as predicted by myself the two girls get to scheme and bitch, whilst ahmed does more insania stuff. and i quite like michelle now, a girl after my own heart. shes a little bit chav but is having fun, has bagged the best looking bloke and also seems pretty harmless.
have decided Emma is a young waynetta slob, she just needs her towelling jogging suit and shes there.
jason and dan think theyre great, but will slowly be exposed as quite nasty. as will vanessa and shell.
but its definitely stirred up an already well shaken house even more!!

Flags
I get really peed off with all this 'political correctness' regarding flying either the Union Jack or the St George Cross. As someone who would like to support their country in their sporting efforts and also on national holidays I find it offensive to me that there are people in the UK who scorn or prevent our flags flying becuase of associations with the BNP. Now i have been to the US many times, regularly see south african flags displayed in bedroom windows as I go about my business in south west London and also saw the hugest Spanish flags whilst 'vacationing' in their captial. I just find it sickening that other countries can be proud of their flag whilst we cant, even been looked down upon for it. Thats why I am glad that GMTV, probably the lowest form of ameobal tv, featured an article about asian cabbies overturning a restriction on flying flags from their taxis. At last a bit of sense in the red taped full of crap p.c. environment we live in.
And yes I voted today, four times. One for London assembly, first and second choice for mayor and european electorate. Emily Davison is buried in the same graveyard as my relatives. She died under the kings horses trying to secure voting for women. I'll always vote when i know that in other countries there aren't equal rights for women, there arent democratic elections and also cant compalin about the UK without having asay in it. Me and my mate suggested that rather than voting for the person/party we liked how about just voting for the policies? then we know the ideas the public would like to see implemented, rather than the false policies that never see reality. Maybe then we would see what the public wanted.
ok now for a cheese sandwich.

i like this