very weird day yesterday. am usually very good at predicting things but when something actually does happen that I wanted to its all a bit of a shock still. needless to say what I found out benefited myself but not the other person. and they had kept it quiet. a bit of a told u so kind of situation but u cant say it to them cos they're hurt. mm. one down another to go.........
anyway I got my new laptop!!! its a dell latitude d400 which means its as light as a feather. and I'm in love with it. the keyboard is for a woman's hands and the buttons make woody noises, not tinny like the d600. all in all very pleased. now my back wont hurt and its fits into my Burberry handbag a lot better.
something that struck me the other day watching the royal family that we, as a nation, have taken some bread and put pink sugar in the top and called it an iced finger. now how cheap and nasty is that? cant believe I used to eat them as a treat when there's nicer stuff out there. like egg custards.
am having a hectic day just to sew everything up before I leave. so I will leave you now, my stalkers will just have to wonder what I am up to on the hen week and have their own fantasies whilst I am away, lying in the sun, drinking my own weight in alcohol and sleeping like a baby. I'll try and blog whilst I am out there but fear my hangover will not allow but will try. and I bet you cant wait to see the pics!!
have a nice time in England or wherever......

sorry for not blogging, very hectic and tiring weekend.
friday was out and then on-line chatting till 2.30am avec une stella.
had to get up next morning to go and get holiday money at 8.30am, my mate is an early riser. was off to bbq on t'other side of town when one of my pairs of pinkshoes broke. was gutted as hadnt worn them that much and i was supposed to be taking them on holiday. naff.
decided that was too knackered and peed off to get on tube for half an hour, then train to bbq for ten minutes then walking ten minutes to find flat only to have to return two hours later the same way. made up for this by inviting my friend over for a chat who was having a bit of a crisis. then off to party at 7, in new pair of pinkshoes that I found I cannot walk in, hurrah!! not.
managed to be wankered again until flaked out at 1am. managed to acquire stalker number two.
sunday was recovering whilst tidying up flat and sorting out clothes for holiday. also watched leeds get thrashed, newcastle stomp on chelsea and arsenal win the title. should have been shoe shopping but needed to ensure outifts were fully co-ordinated and shoes were packed.
might actually go shoe shopping tonight..... wonder what time nine west close.... and LK Bennet have potential shoes for wedding dress (not my wedding, but the hens, on whose hen week I am going to on wednesday in cyprus). watch out for ten french maids!!!

crikey all this going away on holiday business means I'm actually busy at work.
Still if it continues like this the monthly reports will be a doddle for two customers......
i have become addicted to 'Most Haunted' on living tv. if you havent seen it, its bascially a show trying to capture ghosts on camera. now the first week was good as they were going round this massive house, croxteth hall, with 200 rooms and kept hearing bangs and things moved etc.
the one the other day was a bit rubbish as it was the hellfire caves in west wycombe. they didnt see owt and the most exciting thing was an iron door that had been closed was opened mysteriously which they only noticed when they edited the film. needless to say I am hooked and am very interested in this side of 'life'.
my auntie used to go to seances and i am curious to see if i went whether anyone would say anything to me as i do regard myself as a bit psychic when it comes to deja vus and knowing who is pregnant etc.
i dont know many people who have died but i am sure me being me i would be singled out at any psychic event!!
anyway, am off on holiday next week and suddenly had this thought the other day about how would I survive without msn for seven days?? am goin onto the hotels website now to check for t'internet access........

There is a not so well known song by John Lennon called 'Love'. Its a very beautiful and simple tune just with him singing and playing the piano, recorded very plainly and with lyrics that reach out to me.
I've been thinking about what love means over the past few days and come up with a few suggestions of my own.

Love
by minnow

Lying in bed all day wearing nothing but a smile
Holding hands when your nervous
Enjoying each day together
Finding out new things about each other
Taking in the world and its beauty together
A giggle and a playful tumble
Thinking about them when they arent there
Listening
Hugging
Making your world complete

Love
by John Lennon

Love is real, real is love
Love is feeling, feeling love
Love is wanting to be loved
Love is touch, touch is love
Love is reaching, reaching love
Love is asking to be loved
Love is you
You and me
Love is knowing
We can be
Love is free, free is lovey
Love is living, living love
Love is needing to be loved

nee nar nee narr screech. well its always exciting in this london, as was just about to post worlds most boring blog when a bevvy? a herd? a cacophony? or a fuzz of police cars pull up, apprently chasing an escort, the usual dodgy blokes car of choice. (before you start we had one and it got stolen. unfortunately we got it back as it was crap 1.1 L and very underpowered) so they had been persuing the offending 'motor' and it got stuck up my street cos an OAP ambulance was blocking the road. glad to see the elderly are helping crime reduction.
just goes to show what a quiet street i live in. i was lying in bed last night trying to sleep barr the pain of the tonsilitis which was making my eyes water a lot and deciding that nope, i couldnt hear a thing and it was really noiseless round ere. they even do driving lessons on these streets thats how quiet it is. and yesterday a 'neighbourly' bloke even was trying to suggest i get my rendering sorted out. good at talking, crap at listening. i would have explained the whole crap people upstairs thing but he was more interested in telling me about tribunals......
officially put away all my winter clothes yesterday. its only eight more sleeps until holiday and need to get my act in gear in terms of packing, insurance, medicines etc. still lots of things lined up inbetween as well......and if your as bored as me being ill check out my photopages!!!

good day yesterday. went bowling and lost, watched newcastle draw goalless at villa park and played and won on dancemat and jurassic park, the best arcade game ever. lost at pool but put it down to more practice.
went to belgos for mussels and chips, pretty darn hot waiters too.....
am feeling turd now, with horrid cough and sore throat. i have permanent tonsilitus that flares up now and then. they wont take my tonsils out (which are apparently like strawberries) as its too much hassle.
good job i have smoked haddock chowder for lunch........

yesterday was a lovely day so we took advantage of the sunshine and went to wimbledon common. we took some beers and the frisbee, boomerang and kite. it was very gusty and i managed to crash the kite into the trees. good job tims an army man and managed to get it down. it was very strong and lots of fun, I want one for my birthday!!! hint hint.
was very tired after the fresh air and the girls night out on friday so had a look at the sky films and unfaithful was on. now i dont like richard gere but was curious to see what kylies boyfriend olivier martinez was like. i was surprised by how good the plot was and indeed how raunchy it was for a hollywood film and then saw in the credits it was based ona french film called 'la femme infidelie' so that explained a lot. might have a look for the original depending on whos in it. all i can say is that i am sure kylie is having a great time in her relationship, and if she isnt then i'll gladly take over ;)
have got a chesty cough today which is unusual for me, must have been the chilly wind yesterday evening. am off bowling now so see ya laters!!!

ch ch ch changes said mr bowie and so it comes to that point again where everyone is leaving. it was my mates last day in the office yesterday. he's sold his notting hill flat (very small) and bought a four bed, four toilet detached house, 2 years old just outside of manchester with cash left over. hes going to be wfh and his fiancée will be doing a bsc in chinese medicine and reflexology. leaving the rat race behind.
then at lunch my other mate is considering taking the redundancy package and there was another guy who is a contractor who had leaving drinks before they said they were going to extend his contract for another three months. then in the lift i heard someone else talking about the rats leaving the sinking ship. i know ray and hans have had all of this at mahoney but i feel that for the past three years i am just waiting for the company to fold (which the last one did) be bought by another company, survive redundancy and see good talented dedicated people leave.
ive seen affairs, senior people spending money on prostitutes or haircuts, alcoholics and breakdowns. but I have my plan. and thats the only reason to keep going.
went to the market today and got two bunches of spring onions, two courgettes, two massive cucumbers, eight vine tomatoes and five sweet big peppers for £4.20, which is cheaper, not full of unnecessary packaging and not with dodgy rotten ones. when i was little going to the market was embarrassing, but vital for our family to survive the miners strike and redundancy. now i just dont want to be ripped off. and the butchers seemed to appreciate my presence!!!

I gave my seat up today for a pregnant lady, my good deed for today.
crikey it was a nerve-wracking game last night. i was well pleased we were up after nine minutes and seemed to be on cruise control, which is usually our style and then leaves us open to a silly mistake. which is what happened. i dont like bernard much, apart from the excuse that we say the cat is named after him, and it was all hanging in the balance after the equalising penalty.
again my petit choux-fleur robert was on top form and i think jenas had a great match too. in the end 'mr lipstick' (who by the sound of the commentators is ordering his stannah and considering which meals on wheels lady he fancies) gary speed rescued us and sent us into a semi-final clash with marseilles. I would have preferred inter, the itis footballers tend to be more sexy and also we beat them last year in champions league I am sure.
just one thought to leave you on. i found out that this girl i dont like (long story) shows her boyfriend her used 'sanitary products'. now i think thats weird and all my mates thought it was disgusting. views??

big night tonight as newcastle play PSV in the UEFA cup. we might even get within a sniff of silverware this year, so heres hoping!! *please note the unkymood tomorrow based on tonights result
had a very strange and vivid cream last night about people in iraq having this yearly ritual where they would build a rickety wooden structure above a ravine so high that you cant see the bottom. there would be a party going on inside and a couple of people would go onto the roof piece of the structure that hung precariously over the void. they would have a young bull calf and two massive arabian swords, like from a sinbad film. the calf would be slashed to death and the ensuing fight between beats and mankind would result in the ultimate sacrifice of all, suicide down the crevasse.
now i am sure this isnt real, and i did mention i have a sick mind, but this scene did replay quite a few times in my head, not sure how they managed to keep rebuilding the parapet but hey.......
have taken to my new spring outfits. today I am sporting black and white pin stripe trousers, tight white shirt and white shoes. to spruce things up a bit i am wearing bright red nail varnish and lippy. now i dont usually wear such bright colours, but seen as the sun is out and it apparently drives men wild i thought i would give it a go. surprisingly it has made me feel more empowered and confident which is good and a bit frisky, which is bad, way bad!!!!

hi. far too busy to blog yesterday, i am thinking of entering the msn chat champion awards as yesterday had four conversations on the go....and managed not to say anything in the wrong box
went to the natural history museum yesterday to see the wildlife photographer of the year exhibition. on the way through by accident i was amazed by a stunning set of photographs of the earth from the air by yann arthus bertrand. they were an outstanding selection of natural and man made pictures, ranging from iraqi abandoned tanks, a mass of pink flamingos so many you could hardly make a difference between them, rio de janeiro slums packed on top of each other, beautiful canadian autumnal forest, everest, hummingbird from the natzca lines and camels trekking across the dunes. it was even nicer as it was an open air free exhibition too.
then off inside (the museum itself is such a nice building, lovely stone and architecture) to see the wildlife photographer of the year competition which literally blew my socks off. the dedication, ingenuity and the ages of some the photographers was outstanding, I even bought the book. the pictures from some of the children under ten were brilliant and i was only consoled by the fact that most of them were taken using a camera in the same range as my SLR. again i spent a good hour taking in what had happened with each shot and where in the world they were taken, inspiring compositions and settings, fuelling my ambition that one day I might get a picture in a gallery.its also made me hungry to travel again.
have a look at: wildlife photos
i hopped back home for a cuppa and then out to the cinema to catch 'Capturing the Friedmans' as i knew no-one else would want to see this with me and i expected the picture house to be empty. but it was quite full for screen three at the ritzy (UK's busiest independent cinema) and it was only £4.50 bargain!!!
the film was disturbing, interesting, amusing and confusing. basically its a montage of interviews and home videos of a family whose father and son were convicted of child sex abuse. the older brother is a nut case and it shows what happened. i know the father was a paedophile from the evidence but it was alleged that a computer course he ran with his son had been basically an abuse class.
it made me think about what would happen if your accused of something, and if you did it or not how would you plea? take a chance or stick to the truth? anyway it was a great bit of film, perhaps better on tv but worth seeing nonetheless

i think I might have a bit of a sick mind. well a sick mind to some people. i have always been fascinated by facial deformities. it started with the boy david, who was 'rescued' from peru to have major recontrsuctive surgery as he had a hole in the middle of his face where is nose was meant to be. then there was a documentary about a kid in the US who had made a suicide pact with his mate using rifles under their chins. he survived, but blew half his face off. then i read the other daythat crystal meth had made it to the UK, and that it ages users until they look like pensioners at thirty etc. so i jumped on google. only found one before and after picture which was good but nothing else. saw some interesting brain scans of users tho, where you can see holes in their brains from using it. hope it was worth it :)
so many films i want to see at the minute and no time to fit them in!!! want to see shawn of the dead, monster and capturing the friedmans and kill bill vol 2 is out soon. saw the secretary on dvd last night. pretty good, all i like to se ein a film, a good plot, fine acting, interesting ending and a bit of S&M thrown in. fab. catch it if you can.

feel even worse than yesterday. am watching saturday kitchen and waiting for my invisible butler to turn up and get me some food and orange juice. apparently northumbrians like chilli con carne the most. have decided anthony worrall thompson is a horrid ugly man. he thinks that we dont cook fish and all the curries we make are from a jar of sauce.
ah just applied the hang over cure and seems to have worked.
am watching river cottage with hugh fearnley whittingstall now. thats how i want to end up. self sufficient, organic and in my own country cottage, growing my veggies and having chickens for eggs and a goat for cheese, selling my produce at the local market. mmm hes making fish pie now.
theres been talk around blogland of what you should and shouldnt blog about. i havent let loose on what readers might find really interesting about my life and i dont actually think i would ever blog about friends in a negative way, just not my style. its a question of whether i should open the door into the juicy area.
i get hang over dyslexia. i was sure the other day that the lemon drops at the safeway tills were clitoris flavour not citrus......

ah good friday. a day for feeling minging and watching telly. went out to strawberry moons last night for the cheesey kitsch night. good venue for a girls night out. pitchers of cocktails for £7 until nine, brilliant!! well not so brilliant today :)
lots and lots of the ultimate in tunes that make you cringe like chesney hawkes.
my photopage seem to be getting some viewers which is nice. i have put up a couple of pictures from when i was at my mates wedding and am quite impressed with the results.i am going to buy one and frame it for my dads birthday as he liked the hat so much. my mate is coming over tomorrow so will get some more done yay!!

mmm interesting day already. having woken up from a dream where i met the man of my dreams (although scarily he wasnt a freddie prinze junior lookalike which is usually my type but more like a version of Tim from the office but more hoxton hunkish) and got a free meal things have kind of depreciated since then.
i made it to the tube after noticing how scarily quiet the roads were. these school children getting fat by not walking to school have a lot to answer for. there was a train via jodrell waiting for me and so i casually walked to the carriage where i suspected some seats would be available and found one next to a very tasty geezer. i got my viz out and tried to seduce him by being a dirty chuckling geordie bit of stuff. i failed.
we have the worst intranet ever. i can never find anything. all i want is a template power point slide deck but i cant find it grrrr.
crikey its eleven oclock already and done f all. good job its girls night out tonight and i have my little pink top and pink shoes to go out in. city of london beware!!! maybe my little hoxton Tim is waiting for me??
ps footballers wives last night. i thought Tanyar was going to get banged up, but not in that way? isnt she meant to be in bad girls? tsk.

hungover. and its objectives day. not badly hungover just that kind of dehydrated spaced out wobble i get from mid week sessions. not the clinging onto the edge of life whilst my liver repays the rest of my body for the previous nights indulgence. the mind plays tricks on you. i begin thinking of a random combination of thoughts. as i walk in i am constructing the answers to the question of why are you leaving when i tell my boss that i am taking the exit door. i get angry. so i change thoughts.
i start thinking about sending an entry to the profanisaurus section of viz (i have a monthly subscription- great xmas pressie from robbo) based on diahorrea. Its called an attack of the pringles, cos once you pop you cant stop.
a bunch of asian girls seem to have spray cans at the traffic lights. theyre kind of not quite pikey, they wear the clothes but dont quite have the hair and jewellery going on to be true charvas. i am wondering what they are doing at 8.30 with blatant graffiti tools. the lights change i walk slowly across as one girl asks a man if he wants some and then sprays him with silly string. all very bizarre.
i sit on the hot tube, half asleep and very dehydrated. i get to the point where i think maybe i should get off and get some water cos i think i might die and then realise that i will be ok. it goes very slow on the northern line today as if the trains are even paying me back for drinking. it said at the station that it was due to train radios not working, yet half way through we are told its cos of track failure. and then we have the escalators that were out of action for three months for maintenance and then since they have been in operation again have broken down twice in three weeks and currently havent been working for the past five days.
and then when i stumble into the office, i see tileseys trying to tell me how mobiles work. the boys deluded as i know more than the average joe bloggs about mobiles, having had an angry cellnet customer for a year with all sorts of problems I could bore you with. and now i have to think of my own objective for this year, look alert and attentive and try and ask some questions that may indicate i am leaving without giving the game away. such fun........

A few things that have been floating round my cerebral cortex
Ok so the Beckhams might not have the dream marraige. Lets put a bet on which 'football marriage' is going to 'crumble' like the Everton defence?
1. Tony Adams and Poppy Teacher
Well he is meant to be the donkey, maybe its just the way he walks, and he was married to the bottle (shes a whiskey heiress) so I think this one is a long shot. 25-1
2. Leslie Ash and Lee Chapman
They survived trout pout and that has to be worth something, maybe its the fees from homebase keeping him happy. Not so sure 16-1
3. Jordan and Peter Andre
Not so much a footballers wife but a footballers bike and it seems that its a match made in heaven. Two stupid airheads obsessed with plastic surgery and exposing themselves in a vain attempt to keep in the spotlight, and thats only her boobs!! Depend son how long she gets paid for the interviews in ok! shaky 6-1
4 Jamie and Louise Redknapp
shes up the duff and theyre both as boring as owen, 100-1
5 Sven and Nancy
I am sure that she will be exposed as Chelseas new signing as a margarita praccatan for the chelsea village hotel entertainment. shes got to be a man. 7-1

any others you can think of?

whats with bathroom products turning pink all of a sudden? first domestos and now another brand have both turned their 'smallest room' cleaning products fuschia? surely they should be camouflage or somet?
i've actually done some work for a change today. So far I have done two out of three customer reports (and prepped the third), checked for outages, submitted expenses and looked at my objectives. I have to set my own objective this year, which I find really hard. I am sure its a ploy for management to get out of thinking of one. funny how looking for my contract might influence that one.......ooh cleared my desk out now and now applying for a new job, all in a days work!!!

Thanks to Hans over at choccy tromby I managed to pick the winner in the national. £34 easy smackeroos. Just watched New Zealand film, whale watcher, about maori traditions in the 21st century. Lovely film. A nice story, without any violence, swearing, sex or anything usually associated within the category of 'offensive'. Just thought i'd let u know, in case you needed something nice after city of god........
Finally cancelled the 'posh' gym. have to wait 30 days before i can join new gym. but i want to join straight away as so bored at work. annoying.
Update:
Hurrah, sunderland gets beat! (this is geordie speak, and I know its not grammatically correct)
Michael Owen has beaten Jordan for the most wooden advertisement prize. "Thanks Mum" wins over "Only in OK!" as the funniest dead-pan lifeless one liner.
Davids done the dirty on posh. At least my mam will be pleased as he will be 'up for grabs' soon.

I feel that I might end up with someone making decisions for me rather than me for myself. So Monday will be an active day for a change, a big 'to do list' and a form to fill in. Am scared. But I also feel everyone else is 'progressing' and my stagnant stillness is creating a bad smell.
went to an event on thursday for event organisers. I got some really cool stuff, like jelly babies, gingerbread man, boomerang and a dinosaur with a light up mouth. see my photopages for more, including my half-caste jelly baby

Me and my mate were talking the other day about 'secret crushes' Its those guys or girls that arent seen as attractive by many and they arent your normal type. For example robbo fancies shay given but her secret crush is johnny woodgate even though hes ugly and a bully (according to her).
Mine is Steven Gerrard cos he is a bit 'pikey tall lad whose just about to go into prison but is fairly attractive' looking.
Rats is Smithy from the Bill cos he is really ugly but he has that bad boy, flirtacious looks good in bed look about him and he always takes control of situations.
Z and L like mickey from stenders and Jeff brazier (jades boyfriend)
whilst mel used to like jim carver and now likes Dom Joly even tho hes a bit chubby.
So who is your secret crush??