everyday its a getting closer
going faster than a rollercoaster
love like this should surely come my way a-hey ahey hey hey

yes every day its becoming harder to carry on. The plan is being formalised and 'refined', it just means I still have to do this job. And what a job it is. Nothing much to do this week really. Hence searching for a boyfriend, emailing, surfing at 'plan' sites and blogging take up most of my time. Am going to join the gym downstairs just so i can take up an hour at lunchtime with exercise and then eat my lunch and surf during worktime.
My mates fiancee got promoted yesterday. He has worked hard but his pay increase was described as 'phenomenal'. At least he has the opportunity. Here we dont have any ability to progress our 'careers' and if you work hard or do f. all doesnt make any difference. The only way is out. Mind you he did have to threaten to leave but at least he got somet. We havent even had a pay increase in line with inflation, got diddly squat. So in fact am now poorer than last year cos everything else is becoming more expensive. Hence dropping the posh gym for the cheaper one downstairs.
The only thing I can think is that the job allows me to pay of my mortagage for doing relatively nothing. if I had a time machine i could do all the real work I needed to on Monday and spend the rest of the week doing something else. But I have to hang around, just in case there is an issue. My job has gone from being pro-active to re-active. Most important decision today is whether I buy an i-pod or not........ 8% discount and US prices mean it would be around £130 (when it comes on sale the i-pod mini will be £199). but there arent any others that are pink. mmm.

per-pet-ualllll daaawn
per-pet-u-al daaawn
infinite sunshine.....per-pet-ual dawn.
it always seems to be getting up time, and i dont like it. at least its getting brighter. but i hate getting up and it just always seems to be that time again and again, very groundhog dayish.
the whole existence down here is very grey slog and repetitive during the winter. i really need a change but am trying to sort out logistics. maybe need an elaineous type escape. the summer and my friends are the only things keeping me here or i would be off like a shot (also need some more funds)
But I want to make a list fo things I'd like to do in london but havent managed yet:
London Eye
London Zoo
Another dinner at The Ivy
Camden market
Tower 42

any other suggestions??

ow! am still recovering from yoga on saturday, every part of my body aches apart from my face hands and feet. it really is the most painful exercise ever!! went to see my mate playing footie yesterday. they beat the top of the league to take over the top spot and if they win and draw their next matches will be promoted.pictures on the website later. i got hammered on a sundya fternoon for the third sunday in a row. someone told me that the swedes drink most on sundays cos they reckon that they should have hangovers at work and not on their weekends. good principle.
have been tempted by another website advertising volunteering holidays. this time saving turtles in panama. decisions decisions.

i am feeling grrrrrrrreat today!!
Went to 'try out' the gym below work today. They had this offer on for five days for five pounds which unfortunately had run out, but hey there were having two open days today and tomorrow for free so managed to save five pounds already. yay!! if i like the pool and their classes i will move over to them as they are more convenient and it will save me £27 a month.
did yoga with kate, good teacher, it was ashtanga so quite full on sun salutations but feel the benefit now even though didnt put in a whole 100%.
bought two of the clear picture frames i have been looking for for four years to put my papyrus pictures in from Egypt, so by easter i shall have achieved a item that has been on my 'to do' list for quite some time. makes me feel good. again.
have just had very hot bath which was very relaxing and had some sort of gentle orgasmic positive energy vibe whilst rubbing my forehead, which was nice.
now face pack and then tea, out later to a tapas bar round the corner in earlsfield.

I think i just have one announcement today
MY PICTURES YAY!!!

some people (not even worth linking to) just dont get it. in a world of rules blogs are beyond rules and thats why i do my blog like this, without grammar or punctuation and of course now without comments. its for me!!!
am being creative. am altering my denim skirt when i notice its called 'belle de jour', so its me after all, yay, wheres my money?
bought two yes tow pairs of pink and white shoes from topshop. and some cut off jeans. id show you but a certain site wont show my pictures. am going to have to search for a better one. also been quite busy at work, which is seriously affecting my surftime. not impressed.
anyway havent 'reported' yet on sundays outing to the rugger. now in comparison with the footie there are several advantages.
one, its cheaper, £16 verses footies £35, and gettinga ticket is well easier.
two, u can drink beer on the stands, yay!!
three, the 'boys do several 'warm ups' before the game allowing plenty of time to select the totty.
all in all a good afternoon (apart from my totty getting injured the brave man, bless) and even Tilesey said a couple of the blokes would 'get his arse'. i moved away then....... ;)
again would show u a pic but.......

ok saturday.
got up late and mooched around. m wanted to get her mam a mothers day present so we went to wimbledon. went just to get outside for a bit but it was mega windy, not good when wearing lipgloss. creates a mouth beard look not seen since nana missouri.
anyways back to the house to take some sassy pics of minnow that should be on a certain site but i cant get it to work damn!! also not able to take a full length one in the red shoes on my own........
put on fluoro cd really loud to annoy upstairs and get ready for going out. had lovely SATC stylee dinner at pizza expresswith b-r and her mate. lots of chattage about how awful men are. only disrupted by children from hell and parents who could have been on another planet the amount of attention they gave them. one of those rare moments where one of them deserves to get hurt so the parents start being parents. we also were going to be witnesses for p.e. if one of the parents sued.
onto the brazilian night at the notting hill arts club, which i could show u pics of but that certain site is naff naff naff. lots of arm movements and samba dancing and mojhitos and caprinihas. was not drunk, due to hormone levels- dont u just hate that???

ah so much material, so little time
sorry been away peeps and had a great time
the hankies were out, the manolos kicked off and samantha (lucky bitch) had her last fill of smith and the girls were gone. SATC finished on friday, and although a very american happy ending, i wish smith had flown back for me. i'll just have to whore my way round this old town (maybe blog about it and get a book deal?) shag shag shag shag shag, until i look shagged and 45 then i'll get my beau. failing that i have plan b.
but am concerned i will not know the latest fashions and will have to buy silly magazines instead which i hate. at least carrie had my coat on in paris this week, but big has funny eyes like those dogs er daschunds? horrid. anyways now am not watching stenders as well the tv schedule is mainly filling up with cat programmes from 8-11pm.... although i have just been playing around with my new digital camera. its sooo cool. only thing is i need to work out textamerica..... bit slow from home so might have to try laters.!!!
will be back with more news and hopefully pictures!!

If theres one thing that cheeses me off is a sore loser. i have had a response from the upstairs flat, and a cheque for £625 (£80 short as this is the fee for having to go to the small claims court). just go to prove that i was right all along and the money was mine. Also the letter says the 'leaking roof' isnt covered by the building insurance, will cost £900-1200 and I am liable for half. what gets me is his attitude at the end. he says that all future communication will be by letter and if i ring the doorbell it wont be answered. immature. what if theres another leak on to my property from his? shall i phone the police then? i'll need to see the leak before paying for it and also why doesnt this building insurance cover the leak? stress stress stress.

Yay!! Just been to the new improved woolies and was nearly instantly sucked into buying loads of stuff:
chrome loo roll holder 9.99 (free standing and holds four at once brilliant)
wooden duck board ? (what i need to make bathroom look lovely)
scales £29.99 (to see how fat I get)
travel case 39.99 (for hen week)
hello kitty lunch box 7.99 (just cos it was cute to put my packed lunch in)
managed to resist any pic n mix as doing the no carbs past 5.30 rule
managed to resist all of the above and only buy a birthday card (but got a £3 umbrella from primark and spotted some pretty pink shoes in peacocks for £12 not my size tho.....)
anway have been busy making some enquiries...... main question is still money!!! yuck....

my x-rays came back today 'normal'. still doesnt explain my unbearable back pain. poo.
apparently according to the budget calculator on the beeb i'm 88p better off each week thanks to the budget. however as i havent recieved a pay increase this year i think the 88p will be instantly erased by interest and tube pass going up. i need an fa to get me some relief.........

I realised that my employers for the last two years have never once asked me where i want to be in five years time. I know its a cliche but even my ex who works in a tyre factory got asked and at least it shows an interest in your career rather than just blatantly ignoring it...... crikey i was astounded.
so we're going to get cctv on commuter trains and baggage checks. what will that do? at least they can then see how people are squashed in every day and a night the 'youths' graffiti-ing the walls. people being terrorised by 'train gangs' and disgusting behaviour didnt warrant the cctv, only when theres a bomb threat which i am so glad to hear is inevitable, not.
i dont want to be allies with the usa, i dont want to be in iraq. i think we should become like the swiss, at least we wont be putting our soldiers in the firing line with not enough equipment. theres a prog on sunday night showing the real pictures from iraq, rather than the propoganda tv we had over here when it was on. remind you of the old soviet state by any chance?

dear mr ntl
i really dont need all these channels
please can i just have:
BBCs 1/2/3/4
4, E4 & E4 +1
Animal Planet/national geographic
ITV 1/2/news
five
sky one/cinema 1/cinema 2/sports1/sports2
smash hits channel
fox kids
uk gold 1 + 2
paramount

the others can go, i'll pay you £15 a month, is that ok?
yours,
min

i have decided i'm a bit like sideshow bob without do any test or quiz. dunno if thats bad or good. got to go watching swamp tigers.........

dear blogger (my bestest friend ever)
i dont know what to do. i have two options. either torture myself in this job so i can have two dream holidays and do my MSc in luxury (well for a student). Or run and jump. Be proper full on stewdent and move oop north and be friendless etc but at least wont be doing a job that makes me feel like poo.
i expext to hear from you soon.
ps u better not be made up like that twat santy

cheers
min
xxx
ps can i win you say we pay with rich and jude tomorrow please?

am watching videodrome. i love cronenberg. james woods uncovers a sinister plot to make the public automatons through tv. i think its worked on the general public. on gmtv this morning i was told to be vigilant for bombs on the way to work, dont eat fat things when i get to work, dont binge drink after work and dont get your switch card cloned, which happened to my mate last week. i miss ri:se....

watched donnie darko on saturday night, good film, (excellent in hollywood terms, good in terms of globally available cinema) and better than expected ending. could have been a bit longer but i liked the whole difficult teenager discovers own powers and manages to get away with it kind of vibe. the person responsible for the music was obviously a tears for fears fan and disregarded that it was meant to be set in 1988 not 1984.
bought digital camera today from dabs. a canon A75. so soon there will be some highly entertaining photos on textamerica. keep coming back to find out soooon
ps went to WHL yesterday.stood in spurs end but we were feet away from our supporters. we lost, an andy o'brien o.g in the 86th min. nob-end.

a lovely bright sunny daaaaaayyyyyy here in old london town. am feeling better after having a proper lie in and am beginning a kind of 'spring clean'. so far have dusted everywhere and begun the tidy up, I feel a hoover coming out and a quick floor clean and thats the main job over with. hurrah.
am thinking as it such a nice afternoon that after the chelsea match i should venture into town to see if the woolies has been re-opened all brand spanking new.
I think I have decided its time to get the digi camera, being bonus time and all. so now just need some suggestions for which one to pick?

did the weekly shop today instead of wasting my saturday away. got quite a few 'bargains' (in sainsburys terms) including:
buy one get one free on large prawns (saving £4.99)
chick pea curry sauce reduced to 49p (so bought two)
cheshire block reduced to 25p from 80p (i know im not supposed to be eating cheese but.......)

also bought some cress for my egg mayo sarnies (how retro), fairtrade coffee to show the corps that we want to support the farmers and 25% less fat custard creams cos I saw someone had dropped five on smithfield the other day. in total i spent over £20 so i can enter the win a million nectar points competition. bet your really glad you know all this........

I reckon tv is the cheapest night in, a kind of lower class appeaser..........but when eastenders stoops as low as it did tonight with random old lady telling kate how wonderful her nail bar was then i know its time to say goodbye for good.

more bored than a bored person watching paint dry in solitary confinement whilst listening to alan bateman. have made a spreadsheet for our australian itinerary and a shopping list for this weeks food. b.o.r.e.d
i was only yards away from the station in madrid that was attacked yesterday three weeks ago. scary.
anyways you will see that i have been a) occupying myself with a new site meter and b) done it all by myself. thanks to LC for that... you blogwhored the wrong site ladyee!

decisions. my mam asked me what i wanted to do once when i was twelve. i remember. i told her i wanted to go to university. even at that age i knew the only way to get away from the tormentors, to have my own life, to wipe the slate clean i needed to get away. and that working my socks off at school was the only way. i would count it down. it was like my saving grace. i wasnt even thinking about the studying really. just being free. able to do what i wanted. not to be judged anymore. i picked my uni cos it had the highest number of fit blokes per square inch. and it did the job. it allowed me to do what i wanted. and i did. but the degree came second. i finished it and never had to repeat a year. and i got a 'good' job as a result. but now im considering going back. but this time its serious. am i mad?

sometimes you live through things and being young dont actually realise the implications of it all. its twenty years since the miners strike, so i would have been seven and a half. my dad was a fitter on the coal train engines, my other three uncles were also all employed by the NCB (national coal board) locally. where my dad worked was seven miles away in the largest mining village in europe. he originally voted to go on strike and did strike for a long time because he believed what he was told at meetings, that he would be paid and given his coal allowance by the union which would heat our home as it was all coal fired. but that never happened. and i had free school meals. and no new shoes that year. and we didnt have house insurance. and my mams friends gave us food parcels. but being seven all you want is the latest toy and sweets. i wasnt really aware of the bravery and sacrifice my dad went through by first going on strike and then breaking it. it divided families (luckily not ours) and broke peoples inner strength. my parents have never had the money they had before the strike again, with dad being a low skilled manual worker in an area full of similar types fighting over the same jobs. in the end we are all still alive and he never mentions it but to me going against your work colleagues and friends can be the hardest thing to do, when they are brandishing weapons and threatening you, but you are doing it all for your family, so they can eat and be warm. some of the striking miners wore crash helmets. i am sure my dad only wore is bobble hat but hes still a hero in my book.

i am and have been addicted to a few things but i didnt know how living without msn for a few hours really felt. its bad enough not getting e-mails, phone calls or comments but to not have any msn's is horrid. luckily IT support came to the rescue even tho its technically not an approved company program and only cos he has it and is addicted as me. considering getting my own laptop for home just so dont have to carry the work one round and can msn forever.
am making great progress with the plan. seems that funds pending i can make the changes starting fairly soon. more news as it becomes more concrete...

am fairly cheesed off with a few things, genuinely excited about some others.
cheesed off:
having to take upstairs flat peeps to small claims court
lack of gloves in shops after losing a pair (thinking topshop may resuce me)
sore back
irritating customer blaming us for their faults

excited:
going to spurs v toon army sunday
am finalising 'the plan' to escape from hum drum boring life
pinkshoes in certain shoe store
booking flights to australia
hen week in cyprus

one more thing to talk about. had to buy some wrapping paper yesterday and silly woolies was closed. i wanted a super size pic n mix as well. :( anyway had to go to card shop two doors down, cards galore or somet. i went in and there was some paper exactly the same as what i had bought up north but the paper i had bought last week was 49p a sheet. the one in london cost £1.55!!! nearly fell over. i was outraged. am sick of being ripped off by this country. and eastenders is a load of toilet at the minute. thanks god for catterick.

A few things to blog today. one is my mam told me something last night that didnt help to eliviate my mood, only to re-inforce how things used to be crap in one way and now are in another. she had spotted what she called a big mistake in the popular northern mining town film 'billy elliott'. for those who dont know i am from the north east and my dad was in the miners strike, which forms the background to the film about a ballet dancing boy during this time. anyway she noticed that they had red sauce, brown sauce and mustard on the table and that when we were in the miners strike we couldnt afford sauce of any kind, let alone three bottles. i just told her it was no wonder i dont feel happy now after having a deprived childhood. she said it was only for a year, i pointed out all the times dad was unemployed and theyre hardly scraping together any pennies at the moment. am sure this is why i am so materialistic without realising it and cant stand things to be broken or ruined.
monday morning and the customer is still trying to blame us for something they cocked up on. my office is a real head do-er. in front of me is my usual view of empty desks, which after three years of a similar experience can handle now. to the top left there are the three pa's.... think witches of eastwick and youre half way there. to the right is the one loud yank, who wears braces, stands up during conference calls on his headset and is always always far to loud and cheery all the time. behind me is the psycho manager in charge of some large part of the business, so he is loud too, but he is loud and shouty behind a closed door, so its slightly muffled but more concerning that he gets like that. hope the cardiac arrest isnt too painful. his wife works on the same floor round the other side and has a squeaky yankee squeak of a voice that is weird. i only moved here cos my friend sits next to me and the boss of the whole of this sector wont see me on t'internet so often. i kind of have got past caring now.
anyway how are you this bright and sunny monday???

am distressed. its the second saturday in a row now. and i dont smell or owt. i am sociable person and can get on with anyone really. but to be sat on my own whilst a party is going on for the second week running and have no one to talk to. again am much happier in my own house doin my own thing. is that wrong?

do u know what i did yesterday? I actually googled ulysses 31 and read the transcript of the final episode. i have managed to catch a few of the french (i never knew it was french? thought all along it was japanese) episodes as u do when u have cable and a half an hour late night shift of tv. one of the episodes I could remember quite clearly, re-inforcing my new discovery that I must have a photographic memory- although to some degree. i think i may have damaged some of the potential there over the years. anyway having never seen the final episode i am pleased to report that ulysses did make it to the kingdom of hades where he faced his final tests and then went home to penelope. there was one web site on the series suggesting that canal +, the well known french tv channel had bought the rights and were going to make a film, with every well known french person involved. sadly i dont think its true, but he did suggest one of my fave actors, john corbett (chris the DJ in northern exposure/aidan in SATC) as ulysses. aw. can I be penelope?

decisions decisions. well was 'inspired' today to enquire about an open diving course at my gym. this would mean firstly a 'try dive' just to see if i liked it and then move onto the proper stuff. kind of really really nervous and also semi excited but all you diving enthusiastics can keep shtum until I have done it. first wednesday of each month. cue 7th April.
tried four times to get on you say we pay today on rich and jude. must try harder. or something. promise not to be too bright and win more than £10k. am determined to get on and show them how to do it. go down as a legend kind of thing. queen of yswp.....
the ikea catalogue came the other day. there are loads of nice things, but its about the only time of the year I need a car and everyone who does have one doesnt want to go. =unhappy minnow. i only want some silver plant pots for my patio and some dragon fly lights.........
had my x-ray done today. my ossie is massive. they had nice new seats and through the keyhole on tv. and then theres a friggin fire alarm. you really get to see the shoe shit of society at the hospital. those that have used and abused themselves for years or just are plain ugly. london isnt pretty, unless youre in knightsbridge. in fact playing the elevator game makes me more disappointed when theres just no one going past youd shag..........continually!!!

have to go an get an x-ray of my back today at the 'ossie, good job a major british medical centre is just five mins walk away. hopefully it will mean something and i will get it sorted, just another thing on the list. theres always something on my to do list. dont have trouble writing it, in fact i think they are a bit too easy, its finishing everything and having to do it all on my own i dont like. and crap people not helping me out. its one thing having a stupid freeholder that doesnt do anything that he is legally required to do without charging shed loads for it or the idiot upstairs not able to cope with owning a flat, helping me with the stupid landlord or paying me back the £625 he owes me. but its another thing when your constantly pointing things out at work and no one bothers to help.
thansk for all the assistance with the gym question yesterday didnt help me to make up my mind so i think i will try the five days for five pounds at the new gym to test it for real. also need to use up some free sunbed tokens at the last place and see how much notice i have to give the old place and where the diving weekends are on.
next question, should i just leave and go travelling or stay and do a uni course?

look MT has a new pic, courtesy of Frog!! TY ribbit!! Please go and visit his site .
Major dilemma. Currently looking at outgoings and can see gym fees being 'wasted'. Checked out gym below work last night and now cant decide what to do.....
Current Gym:
Posh
Lush Pool
Laser hair removal in beauty salon
Learn to dive courses
Yoga teachers nice
No lunchtime swim/class potential
Expensive
Can go on weekends

New gym
Pool smaller but quiet
Yoga- classes but a bit late
Lunchtime swim or abs
Beauty dept dunno
Dunno about dive classes
Right under work so weekends no
Save £28 a month
Slightly less posh subsequently


ahhhhhhhhhh!! what shall I do?

on the way back from the toon on sunday the train happened to get into Kings cross 30 mins early. however there wasnt a platofrm free and cos of engineering work only two lines in and out of the terminus. what really annoyed me was how angry and frustrated this gay guy got about the train being early. i had to put my fingers in my ears and give him hacky looks. goodness knows what he would have been like if the train was late. we actually arrived at the platforms a full ten minutes early, which considering it was snowing and a sunday in england on the train a bloody miracle. and my ticket was only £20 return.....am going to write into viz for their commuters rant section....
have spotted my summer shoes at an undisclosed location just in case witho or elsie get there first. needless to say they are pink and very summer orientated.
its only eight weeks to cyprus and concerned about the bikini shots. so today had a very healthy quiche with beetroot salad. at last a low fat yummy salad option from the worlds most boring food store, safeways. will still be breathing in on all the pics tho...........
and its double roll over tomorrrow!!!

Hans and everyone else wanting to comment on the lack of posting please note: wednesday was hair cut and curry so no posting as too drunk, thursday work was busy so having friday off needed to prepare and then pack to leave on train oop north where they dont have t'internet. sunday got back from the wedding at 10.15 just in time to see the second most exciting ER after the arm slashing one....... just set the video if you cant watch on wednesday as one of the regulars dies.. so no time for posting!!!!
needless to say the wedding was very nice, although the force ten gale and blizzards did mean outside the castle was pretty nasty, the food was yummy and the disco dire but the table decorations were lovely. unformtunately being there on my own was left out a bit, and did have a better time when i got back to the hotel after meeting gay ken and donna from the berwick tapas place. i will be featuring heavily in the wedding album as the photographer loved my hat and wanted lots of photos of me posing blowing bubbles etc. I was IMHO the best dressed there, some looked like they hadnt bothered at all..........pictures coming soon (march 22nd)!!!